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Story No. 1003
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There was an old woman fom Gloucester, who had regular sex with an imposter,
a chinese lap hound and a bag or murray mints.
Mr Murray Mints had never had an easy life. Old ladies would always try and force in to their handbags or try sucking him and then complain that Murray mints just aren’t what they used to be. The ironic thing is that he did actually taste slightly minty.
But that was only because i vomitted on it after eating 50 packets of Polo mints.
Following this there came a massive surge of diarrhoea, which kept the townspeople stranded for days upon the vicar's roof with nothing but tesco value coleslaw and biblical anecdotes for company.
I began, 'Bertrand Russell observed that he had been in a chapel in which the Ten Commandments were scrawled on two boards and placed where the congregation...' and there I stopped as someone hit me with a large bucket. Although bleeding I was grateful.
Vern Acula
Big Vadge Madge
coathanger fingers
The Bishop of Southwark
eflatmajor