The descretely hidden upper end of his deformed limb was usually the first thing to crop up in converssation - but that evening everone had eaten the rusty Salmon Fondue and things were more upbeat.

stories

The descretely hidden upper end of his deformed limb was usually the first thing to crop up in converssation - but that evening everone had eaten the rusty Salmon Fondue and things were more upbeat. Mainly cos Ringo was playing the drums and he always made everything more upbeat. Ringo was related to Ping the Bongu, his full name was Ringo the Bingu. I hate upbeat, it makes me want to kill people. People like prime ministers, vicars, popes, and that. 'We ahven't room for all those freeloaders,' hissed Cherie. She had bills to think off. Like affording their Mayfair rent once her gobshite husband quit. Thank goodness he had dual nationality in Saudi, they could claim back tax and spend it on gravy. Gravy makes an excellent Christmas present, simply prepared steaming hot, quickly bagged and wrapped up in bondage tape. This of course meant that movement was severely limited although far from impossible as they soon found out when completely unannounced Noel Edmonds pulled out his tackle and waved it at all the old ladies just getting off the coach. They thought they were going to a bingo night, but most of them ended up at the A&E being treated for shock. Edmonds ran off, but was finally shot running for a train.