Yesterday police raided the lair of a merkin maker and merkin salesman, engaged in underground activities, using hair gathered from the barber.

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Yesterday police raided the lair of a merkin maker and merkin salesman, engaged in underground activities, using hair gathered from the barber. The barber, quite bald by now, shivered in the weak afternoon sun. Contemplating penis enlargement over the internet the afternoon dragged slowly on until I stabbed myself in the face with a knife! As if this would purge me of the things I'd done in my past! How foolish to believe that this act would be attrition for the things under my patio. Only God could be my judge now and we all knew where that would lead. But buggery with Jesus might be fun! First you have to nail him to a cross. Not as cruel as it sounds these days with humane painkillers and that. 'Hey Jesus, save me now you bastard' I shouted at him as he bled profusely from his various wounds. Don't worry, I didn't leave him up there.