If you're an ant, and you're walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that

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If you're an ant, and you're walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that fart. The smell went round the room and pinched the bums of all the men, women and children, the fluttered off out the window leaving everyone lost in their own thoughts. I'd like to think that they were pondering the nature of existence, planning great novels, or just thinking about the last time they were happy, but I'm a cynic, so I avoid conversation with all other human beings, who I suspect are in on a conspiracy to pin me down and forcefeed me as much tonic water as they can get into me. I'd go to the police, but I'm certain they're stocking up on mint jelly and gummie bears.