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In this age where technology rules and the heart is ignored I take solace in the fact that I can always don a pair of pink courdroys and stride along the prom holding my enormous inflatable caterillar, painted in the colours of the Union Flag, that I bought for some narcassitic reason, hoping that I would be seen. Well, I was seen, and I immediately decided that purple rinses were to come back into fashion. Indeed whispering into the anus of a nearby stranger and filling their shoes with rat paste was considered 'par for the course' during my apprentiship at the Queen's Pleasure. It was during this time that I developed a taste for intercontinental flights and sub zero horse copulation.
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