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Story No. 29368
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Luther Vandros had cancer. It wasn't serious but it certainly wasn't hilarious either, at least not until he
began to perform a medley of Sting's greatest hits in the manner of a homo. He would then have to imitate Ben Mullins by
putting on weight, regressing socially and wishing for
sweet release from his dull and oppressive existence. Often he would seek it in the form of Whitesnake singles but all too often he retreated into
a world of fantasy, where he was a moustachioed private investigator living in Hawaii and driving his Ferrari around, searching for
Jon Bon Jovi's Christmas dildo. And as luck would have it the dildo was fucking huge and quite easy to spot, even from the air, so found it was and after that... well it was just hardcore plastic weiner action for the rest of eternity.
