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Story No. 31114
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A short guide on how to win friends and influence people. Rule one:
Always avoid having a hand covered in any foul smelling substance, such as badger poo or greasy chip oil, when shaking a parson's hand. Rule two:
Never trust whores who say they don't want money; they want more money, much much more. Rule three:
Don't eat the yellow snow, unless you can be sure it's been flavoured by a yellowy drink such as advocaat, or you like piss. Rule four:
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but everyone knows you can't pick your friend's friend's nose. Rule five:
If you are going to pick your friend's friend's nose, ask politely first.
