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Story No. 31161
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Let it be known that Alfred and I are
getting engaged. My name is Maria Alexandrovna of Russia, and I will marry Prince Alfred
- but only if he changes his name to Cecil Fartpants. This caused consternation in royal circles, but The Queen said
"I demand squares! Off with his head!!" and so the guard took him
to the toilets and ordered him to take a leak like a normal person, but instead, he freaked out, and sprayed it all over the guard's
crotch. "YIPES!" the guard screamed, "IT BURNS!!!". And he ran far far away to a land of magic and wonder and burnt crotches.
