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Simple Simon met a pieman at a gay bar downtown. That night, they made sweet passionate love in a crumby motel, and in the morning, Simon discovered his fingers had swollen up and were the size of huge melons! He got out of his bed and tried to wash them, but instead his dog came up and asked if he could borrow twenty bucks. He was taking the bitch across the street to dinner that night and he wanted to impress her. The bitch wasn't a dog, she was an actual bitch. An opera singer no less. Her name was Imelda Marcos and she owned several pairs of shoes. But she wasn't a Filipina, which confused many people who thought Clay Aiken was straight. Interestingly enough, they were all visually impared. Is there, perhaps, a link? The folks at MIT and doing a study on it as we speak. One of the scientist working on this study is Dr. Jaris Pringer, the famous psychologist who's saved so many
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