Poor, poor, Andy. He awoke in the morning to find

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Poor, poor, Andy. He awoke in the morning to find nothing in his stocking except cheap wine and bubble gum. He cried profusely about this until he saw an angel outside. This angel looked a lot like this homeless dude that used to stand outside my local 7-11. He was the type of bum that would ask for something small and then work his way up to your soul. One day I told him to go memorize all the digits of Pi to 6,000 places. It's a hard task, so I figured it was appropriate punishment for the crimes of all humanity. He would spend all of his life doing this, unless he throws away all the porn underneath his mattress, cleans the wax out of his ears, and buys the world a coke. It was with that, the Ghost of Belated Christmas showed up with a half eaten piece of a banana. This world is dead to me. My only solace now is in the fact that I will eventually be free of this mortal coil.